When we were young, we learn about the basic feelings of sad, mad and happy. As we get older; we start to learn about the complexity of our feelings and find out there is this mile long vocabulary list of how to describe what we are feeling.  However, that requires introspection and time to reflect.  A luxury that we don't always have.  So then what happens instead in those first few seconds when we are feeling discomfort?

According to Brene Brown, sometimes it can come out as Blaming.  She describes Blame as "a discharge of discomfort and pain." In that moment, we are trying to comfort ourselves by stating it was somebody else's fault.  Unfortunately, when our focus is on whose fault is it, it ultimately serves as a barrier for us to connect to another person and having more self awareness.  The focus is not about whose fault is it.  The focus is on why are you feeling discomfort. Some may just be experiencing the discomfort and believing it shall pass.    While others, may need a resolution that require first reflection and then steps to address it.  Is there a significant discomfort you are feeling in your life right now?  Do you often find yourself thinking it is caused by somebody else?  Take a moment to think about why are you feeling discomfort.  Now is there 1 small step you can take right now about what you can do to deal it?